So – I weighed 255 at the end of January and now it is March. I weighed in January because that was my last doctor’s visit, that’s how I know my weight.
I only weigh at the doctor’s office, never on scales at home. Why? Because my whole life has revolved around that scale. People always say:
“Don’t weigh yourself every day!”
But I did. Every time I started a new diet, the scale became my obsession. Every morning, I would remove all clothing and jewelry and I would shave…just in case those hairs weigh more than we realize. I would then step on the scale and the cycle would begin.
“I gained a pound yesterday, I will not eat any meals today and just drink water
“I have weighed the same for the past 2 weeks, something is wrong, I am just giving up!”
The number on that scale dictated my self-worth. The number on that scale told me whether I was a failure or a success. The number on that scale decided for me if I would get dressed and go out into the world that day.
I can remember in elementary school when they would weigh and measure the students, I would dread this day more than anything. I would try to get in the back of the line so no one could hear my weight. That was at 12 years old!! For over 40 years, I have let a scale tell me who I am.
When I got to my heaviest, I avoided the scale like the plague (is that politically correct to say?). I even avoided the doctor because I knew the first thing they would say was “let’s get your weight”. I didn’t need to go to the doctor, I knew I was obese. I knew everything that was wrong with me was because of my weight.
So in 2017, when I got on the scale at the doctor’s and weighed 478 pounds, I knew I had to face some facts.
I changed everything in my life. My eating, my sleeping, my exercise and my attitude. I also changed the way I weigh (like that?). I would not let myself become a scale victim. I decided to only weigh at the doctor’s office every 3-4 months. When people would ask, “How much have you lost?” I was able to say “I don’t really know.” The number was not what was important. The fact that I was getting my life back was the most important thing to me.
So numbers do lie. The scale numbers may tell you that you can’t do it. Those numbers may cause you to ridicule and judge yourself, but you are so much more than that number. Just like I am. Just like every person is.
So if you want to make a change, do it for you. You are beautiful, you are worth the effort and you are definitely more than a number. It may not happen overnight (she said TWO YEARS LATER!) but it will be worth every bit of work you put into it.
Make that change.