So, last blog I wrote about how I had not lost weight in two weeks and how that can really play with your mind. It’s hard to turn your back on something that has governed how you see your body for the past 40 years (yes…the SCALE).
I tried something different. I stopped staring at the scale every morning. It no longer sits there glaring at me and daring me to step on it. I don’t wait until my “morning constitution” to weigh so I will weigh less. I don’t take off my earrings and my clothes (because I am convinced my clothes weigh at least 10 pounds). I even used to shave my legs before I weighed because I think I read somewhere that hairy legs weigh more…
I was CONSUMED by the numbers on the scale. When I was in a program where I was weighed weekly, I would not eat for two days before weigh-in, so I would reach goals. Then, I would go out for a fast food celebration when I reached my goal. In my mind, it actually made sense. I had deprived myself for two days and now I could reward myself.
And don’t even get me started on vacations. My rationalization was always “well, it’s vacation, I’m entitled” or “I will start when I get back-this is my break”. My body must have been so confused. I can just imagine my digestive systems conversations: “OK, everyone work overtime…we just received a HUGE basket of french fries-Wait! Stop! We must be starving, everyone halt all food processing!”
I just got back from spending four days in Greenville SC with my husband. I don’t know if you have been to Greenville but it is seriously the food center of the world. And guess where we stayed? Right downtown in the food section! We got there and my husband said, “If you want to take a few days off, it won’t hurt you”. He was being nice, he knows that our whole life food has made me happy.
But things are different now. It’s not a temporary diet, this is my way of life. I know I have a problem and I know I will be dealing with it for the rest of my life.
So, guess what? I never one strayed from my eating program…in fact, I never even WANTED to. I felt so empowered and so in control of my life and that is a new feeling for me. I realized that nothing is going to stop me this time. Nothing. I don’t need food to reward me and I don’t need the scale to tell me that I am headed in the right direction,
Guess what else? When we got home, I was able to put on a pair of shorts that I haven’t worn in two years…YES TWO YEARS! Now that’s a victory.
How do you evaluate your success? Good or bad – let me know!
Love you all!